Writings

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friendship oath Friend, When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. When you are blue, I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you. When you smile, I'll know you finally got laid. When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. When you are confused, I will use little words to explain When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you're well again, I don't want whatever you have. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath, I pledge 'til the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend! Remember: A friend will help you move. **A really good friend will help you move a body.**
What Is A Friend? I will tell you. It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better or worse. When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyality. He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purges to the bone. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him. Through it all - and underneath - he sees, knows and loves you. A friend? What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself. - C. Raymond Beran everybody's free (to wear sunscreen) Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been probed by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you can imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look like 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about. - nike ad why wait? Because although we want to be decisive, we do not want to be impulsive. Although we want to be swift, we do not want to be hasty. Although we want to hold on to the one we love, we do not want to lose ourselves in the process. If we want to run, we must first learn to walk. If we want to swim, we must first learn to float. If we want to make love, we must first learn to love. In the end, it is still best to wait for the one you want rather than settle for the one that is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love rather than settle for the one who is around. It is still best to wait for the right person because life is too short to waste on the wrong one. Because waiting serves a purpose. Noble and mysterious, you have to know that flowers do not bloom overnight. Rome was not built in a day. A life grows in the womb for nine months. Great love grows steadily over a lifetime. Most good things in life take a long time. And they are all worth waiting for. These, despite the fact that waiting requires a lot of things: faith, courage and hope. the ten commandments (revised) Thou shalt not hog the remote control. Remember ground hog day and keep it holy. Honor thy Web Master that thy site may flourish. Thou shalt not pee in they neighbor's pool. Thou shalt not stick a fork into a toaster. Thou shalt not break wind in mixed company; but if thou failest, and doth pass gas, thou shalt not suddenly stare at thy spouse with an accusing look on thy face. Thou shalt not pick all the cashews out of the mixed nuts. Thou shalt not chew gum in class unless you bring enough for everyone. Husbands, thou shalt not complain if thy wives complaineth that thou wilt not ask for directions. Thou shalt not balance thy checkbook while standing at an ATM. source: http://www.thehappyheretic.com back to top