Movie Monologues
These are some of the most interesting or amusing things I ever heard on screen. Some may not be either but made quite an impression on me.
New additions are in color purple.
American Beauty
written by Alan Ball
Lester:(voice over) I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches forever, like an ocean of time....for me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street...Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie...and Janie. (twice we see his memories of Jane, his daughter) And...(with love) Carolyn.(his wife) I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...(cut to black) You will someday.
Annie Hall
Alvy: I have a very pessimistic view of life. You should know this about me if we're gonna go out. You know, I - I feel that life is - is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. Those are the two categories, you know. The - the horrible would be like, um, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else. That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life - you should be thankful that you're miserable because you're very lucky to be miserable.
As Good As It Gets
written by James L. Brooks
Melvin Udall: I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence", and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and clear their tables and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.
Contact
written by Michael Goldenberg, from story by Ann Druyan & novel by Carl Sagan
Kitz: You admit that if you were in our position, you would respond with exactly the same degree of incredulity and skepticism?
Ellie: Yes.
Kitz(shouting): Then why don't you simply withdraw your testimony and concede that this journey to the center of the galaxy, in fact, never took place?
Ellie: Because I can't. I had an experience... I can't prove, I can't even explain it, but everything that I know as a human being, everything that I am tells me that it was real. I was part of something wonderful, something that changed me forever; a vision of the Universe that tells us undeniably how tiny, and insignificant, and how rare and precious we all are. A vision that tells us we belong to something that is greater than ourselves. That we are not, that none of us are alone. I wish I could share that. I wish that everyone, if even for one moment, could feel that awe, and humility, and the hope, but... that continues to be my wish.
Dangerous Liaisons
Marquise De Merteuil: When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew then that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest to me, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide. I practiced detachment. I learn how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork onto the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelist to see what I could get away with, and in the end it all came down to one wonderfully simple principle: that happiness and vanity are incompatible.
Dead Poets Society
written by Tom Schulman
Mr. Keating: Thank you, gentlemen. If you noticed, everyone started off with their own stride, their own pace. Mr. Pitts, taking his time. He knew he'll get there one day. Mr. Cameron, you could see him thinking, "Is this right? It might be right. It might be right. I know that. Maybe not. I don't know." Mr. Overstreet, driven by deeper force. Yes. We know that. All right. Now, I didn't bring them up here to ridicule them. I brought them up here to illustrate the point of conformity: the difficulty in maintaining your own beliefs in the face of others. Now, those of you -- I see the look in your eyes like, "I would've walked differently." Well, ask yourselves why you were clapping. Now, we all have a great need for acceptance. But you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, "That's bad." Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Now, I want you to find your own walk right now. Your own way of striding, pacing. Any direction. Anything you want. Whether it's proud, whether it's silly, anything. Gentlemen, the courtyard is yours.
Donnie Darko
written by Richard Kelly
Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?
The English Patient
written by Anthony Minghella
Katharine: My darling. I'm waiting for you. How long is the day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone. And I'm cold, horribly cold. I really want to drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I'll waste the light on the paintings, not writing these words. We die. We die, we die rich with lovers and triumphs, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have...entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we have hidden in--like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. Where the real country is. Not boundaries drawn on maps, names of powerful men. I know you'll come carry me out to the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you. With friends and an earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness.
The Fabulous Baker Boys
Susie Diamond: Yeah, they got a convention for everything. This guy was some big roller in suds. At least he was clean. Some of the guys I met through the service, you wouldn't believe. The older ones, they were okay. Nice. Polite. Pulled the chair out for you. But the younger ones... It wasn't so bad, though. I'd get a nice piece of steak, flowers, sometimes even a gift. Usually whatever the guy was into. Got a set of socket wrenches once. Believe it? The guy looked like he'd just given me four dozen roses. But I stayed at the Hartford once... you should see the rooms. All satin and velvet. And the bed. Royal blue, trimmed in lace clean as snow. Hard to believe sleeping in a room like that don't change your life. But it don't. The bed may be magic, but the mirror isn't. You wake up the same old Susie.
Fight Club
Tyler Durden: I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why? Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love?" I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.
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Tyler Durden: We're the middle children of history... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.
Frankie and Johnny
Frankie: I'm afraid to be alone, I'm afraid not to be alone. I'm afraid of what I am, what I'm not, what I might become, what I might never become. I don't want to stay at my job for the rest of my life, but I'm afraid to leave. And I'm just tired, you know? I'm just so tired of being afraid.
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Frankie: Fuck you how I talk. I'll talk any fucking way I fucking feel like. This is my fucking bowling night and who the fuck are you to fucking spoil it by fucking telling me you love me.
Kramer vs. Kramer
written by Robert Benton
Ted: When Joanna -- my ex-wife -- when she was talking before about how unhappy she was during our marriage...Well, I guess most of what she said was probably true. There were a lot of things I didn't understand -- a lot of things I would do different if I could. Just like I guess there are a lot of things Joanna wishes she could change...But we can't. Some things, once they are done, can't be undone. Joanna says she loves Billy. I believe she does. So do I. But the way it was explained to me, that's not the issue. The only thing that's supposed to matter here is what's best for Billy...When Joanna said why shouldn't a woman have the same ambitions as a man, I suppose she's right. But by the same token what law is it that says a woman is a better parent simply by virtue of sex? I guess I've had to think about whatever it is that makes somebody a good parent: constancy, patience, understanding...love. Where is it written that a man has any less of those qualities than a woman? Billy has a home with me, I've tried to make it the best I could. It's not perfect. I'm not a perfect parent. I don't have enough patience. Sometimes I forget he's just a little kid...But I love him...More than anything in this world I love him.
Out of Africa
Karen Blixen: I had a compass from Denys. To steer by, he said. But later it come to me that we navigated differently. Maybe he knew, as I did not, that the earth was made round so that we would not see the way too far ahead of us.
Patch Adams
written by Steve Oedekerk
Hunter "Patch" Adams: So what now huh? What do you want from me? (looks over the cliff) Yeah I could do it. Both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay lets look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies... Heh, maybe you should've had just a few more brain storming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day, maybe you should have spent it on compassion. (looks over the cliff again.) You know what? You're not worth it.
The Piano
written by Jane Campion
Flora: One day when my mother and father were singing together in the forest, a great storm blew up out of nowhere. But so passionate was their singing that they did not notice, nor did they stop as the rain began to fall, and when their voices rose for the final bars of the duet a great bolt of lighting came out of the sky and struck my father so that he lit up like a torch. And at the same moment my father was struck dead my mother was struck dumb! She never spoke another word.
Psycho
Norman: It's sad when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have, years ago. He was always bad and in the end, he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man. As if I could do anything except just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds. Oh, they know I can't even move a finger and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even gonna swat that fly. I hope they are watching. They'll see. They'll see and they'll know and they'll say, 'Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly.'
Pulp Fiction
written by Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary
Captain Koons: Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. (holds it up, long pause) This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
Schindler's List
written by Steven Zaillian
Amon Goeth: Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. Six hundred years ago when elsewhere they were footing the blame for the Black Death, Kazimerz the Great, so called, told the Jews they could come to Krakow. They came. They trundled their belongings into the city. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business, science, education, the arts. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For six centuries there has been a Jewish Krakow. Think about it....By this evening those six centuries will be a rumour. They never happened. Today is history.
The Silence of the Lambs
written by Ted Tally
Lecter: You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste... Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you - Officer Starling...? That accent you're trying so desperately to shed - pure West Virginia. What was your father, dear? Was he a coal miner? Did he stink of the lamp...? And oh, how quickly the boys found you! All those tedious, sticky fumblings, in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere. Getting all the way - to the F...B...I.
Stepmom
Isabel: I never wanted to be a mom. Well, sharing it with you is one thing, but caring alone the rest of my life, always being compared to you. You're perfect. They worship you. I just don't want to be looking over my shoulder everyday, for twenty years, knowing that someone would have done it right, done it better, the way that I can't. You're mother-earth incarnate, you ride with Anna, you know every story, every wound, every memory Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you. Every single moment. Don't you get it? Look down the road to her wedding. I'm in a room alone with her Fitting her veil, fluffing her dress. Telling her, no woman has ever looked that beautiful. And my fear is that (pause) she'll be thinking "I wish my mom was here".
The Story of Us
written by Alan Zweibel and Jessie Nelson
Ben: Are you saying Chow Fun's because you don't want to face telling the kids? Because if that's why you're saying Chow Fun's, don't say Chow Fun's.
Katie: That's not why I'm saying Chow Fun's. I'm saying Chow Fun's because we're an "us". There's a history and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy or somewhere back there, there were cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want to build another city. I like this city. I know where we keep the Bactine, and what kind of mood you're in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher. And you always know that I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly. That's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad. And you don't just give up. And it's not for the sake of the children, but they're great kids aren't they? And we made them - I mean think about that - there were no people there and then there were people - two of them. And they grew. And I won't be able to say to some stranger, "Josh has your hands" or "Remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial?" So what if that stranger listens to me? I mean, Lucas Adler listens but then he always says "between you and I" and it should be "between you and me" because "between" is a preposition. And it's not that there's not a charming part about you not remembering the washer fluid - which I don't understand why you can't - but that's not ultimately important. I'll try to remember that those things can be mildly endearing at times and really not worth not having sex over. And I'll try to relax. I mean is it the end of the world to have sex when you don't totally feel like it? There are all kinds of sex, aren't there? Comfort sex, tender sex, relief sex, "I'm not in the mood, but you are" sex...And let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits? I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so at least I can find the beach, but that's not a criticism of you, it's just a strength of mine. And you're a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte in "Charlotte's Web" said that and I love the way you read that to Erin - when you take on the voice of Wilbur the pig with such commitment even when you're bone tired. It speaks volumes about character. And ultimately isn't that what it comes down to? What a person's made of at the end of the day? Because that pith helmet girl is still in here - "BEE-BOO, BEE-BOO!" And I didn't even know she existed until I met you. And if you leave, I may never see her again - even though I said at times you beat her out of me - Isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, yin and yang, the best of times, the worst of times. I think Dickens said it best. It's the Jack Sprat of it, he could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, but that doesn't really apply here. Does it? I mean I guess what I'm trying to say is - I'm saying Chow Fun's because I love you.
The Talented Mr. Ripley
written by Anthony Minghella
Ripley: Whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful - it all makes sense, doesn't it? Inside your head. You never meet anybody who thinks they're a bad person or that they're cruel. ... Don't you put the past in a room, in the cellar, and lock the door and just never go in there? Because that's what I do. ... Then you meet someone special and all you want to do is toss them the key, say open up, step inside, but you can't because it's dark, and there are demons, and if anybody saw how ugly it was... I keep wanting to do that - fling open the door - let the light in, clean everything out. If I could get a huge eraser and rub everything out... starting with myself...
The Third Man
Graham Greene: In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long, Holly.
When Harry met Sally
written by Nora Ephron
Sally: When Joe and I first started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the same thing. We wanted to live together, but we didn't want to get married because anytime anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had sex again. It's true, it's one of the secrets no one ever tells you. I would sit around with my girlfriends who have kids well, my one girlfriend who has kids, Alice, and she would complain about how she and Gary never did it anymore. She didn't even complain about it now that I think about it. She just said it matter-of-factly. She said they were up all night, they were both exhausted, the kids just took every sexual impulse out of them. And Joe and I used to talk about it and wed say we were so lucky to have this wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking in; we can fly off to Rome on a moments notice. And then one day I was taking Alice's little girl for the afternoon because I'd promised her I'd take her to the circus and we were in the cab playing "I Spy" I spy a mailbox, I spy a lamppost and she looked out the window and she saw this man and this woman and these two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders and Alice's little girl said, "I spy a family," and I started to cry. You know, I just started crying. And I went home and I said, "The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off to Rome on a moments notice." And that kitchen floor? Not once. It's this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile. Anyway, we talked about it for a long time and I said, this is what I want, and he said, well, I don't, and I said well, I guess it's over, and he left. And the thing is, I feel fine. I am over him, I mean, I really am over him. That was it for him, that was the most he could give, and every time I think about it, I am more and more convinced that I did the right thing.
Harry: Boy you sound really healthy.
Sally: Yeah. At least I got the apartment.
Harry: That's what everybody says to me too. But really what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah, you find out who died, and go to the building and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say, then you'd have Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.
White Oleander
Astrid: Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning...the reason is simple, I couldn't understand the beginning until I had reached the end. There were too many pieces of the puzzle missing; too much she would never tell. I could sell these things. People want to buy them. But I'd set all this on fire first. She'd like that. That's what she would do. She'd make it just to burn it. I couldn't afford this one, but the beginning deserved something special. But how do I show that nothing, not a taste, not a smell, not even the color of the sky has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her. I don't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous...was the last time that I felt safe...
